9/12/11

ONIM ~ Tatsuya

I did a small full moon ritual... and pulled my card for this week. I can say for sure that this time it felt right, and I was happy for communicating with the Dragonfae again.

I always thought that Tatsuya was a boy-dragon... but it's a SHE! What a surprise! Her message is "have courage", and she is offering her company during this week so I may walk my path with less fear. I see her a confirmation that I have chosen the right path spiritually, for the time being (I'm still making choices in other aspects of my life). Now that I have opened this door, I must go through it.

Did you know I am afraid of the dark? Yes, 23 years old and afraid of dark like a child. No, not even candlelight helps me, as it is still 'dark'. Yet today I turned off all the lights and stayed in darkness for a long time, so I could bathe in the moonlight and meditate... and felt no fear. Okay, maybe a little bit, but not that overwhelming emotion that usually makes me run towards the closest light bulb!

Perhaps Tatsuya was on my shoulder already, lending me courage (although I had not talked to her yet). But her message of bravery is about both the small and the big fears. The ones that simply bother us, and the ones that sometimes define us. In many aspects of my life, I am still defined by my fears... by all things I think I cannot do, by all leaps I am afraid to take. In Tatsuya's own words:
"You fear masks a deeper dilemma: that of not being your true self and of not knowing that self. This stage will see you reveal your spiritual beliefs, live with integrity, open up emotionally, and become richer and more blissful in every way. [...] Come through the door. There is nothing to fear. You will see." (p.78)
Lucy Cavendish says that Tatsuya usually shows up when we are exploring new options in life, be it moving to a new place, seeking a deep change in any area or dealing with the stagnated situations... she is a Dragonfae of the turning points. She is the fire that helps to burn the old, not to destroy it, but to transform it. We cannot forget who we were, because it's part of who we are, but we can, like an alchemist, use the fire to transmute ourselves.

This fiery Dragonfae is telling me to stop fighting against the past, because it is a useless battle. There's a door before me. It's time to transmute past and use the lessons learnt, good and bad, to build my journey into the future. And it is time to stop being afraid of everything... from the greatest darkness, life itself is born.


Oracle of the Dragonfae © Blue Angel Gallery

5 comments:

  1. Beautiful post! Fear is so all pervasive, and so disabling. Glad Tatsuya is by your side :)

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  2. Hey, just had to say, I received Playing Oracles today!! I am just starting to look through them. To me, they will always represent you. They are Marina's deck! :)

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  3. Yay, I am glad you are on speaking terms with the Dragonfae again. :)

    If it is any consolation, it took me about 20 more years to start taking control of my life the way you are. You have a big head start. :)

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  4. Thank you all for the lovely comments!

    @ Inner Whispers: I am happy that you liked my little post. It was written under the influence of the full moon, lol! I am not sure if I'll know how to fully enjoy Tatsuya's gift, because I'm a bit of a coward... :p

    @ Carla: It's great that you got the Playing Card Oracles! It is my favorite deck and I am always happy to know that someone else decided to give it chance! <3 I hope you like it as much as I do!

    @ Helen: Well, I am aware that I need to make my life my OWN, that I need to break free from this bubble of expectations create around me... but honestly I have no idea on how to start. Sometimes I don't think I am brave enough to take the first step. :p Who knows if it won't take me 20 years to find my way... ;)

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  5. I've been reading relationship books by Dr. David Schnarch and they're great not only for relationships to others but also to yourself.

    One surprising thing I learned reading them is that while many experts try to reduce your anxiety/fear feelings, it's actually more constructive to embrace them and tolerate the discomfort for growth, whether it's in a relationship or standing on your own two feet.

    I applaud you. I'm 10 years older than you and I definitely struggle with this a lot. It's a major demon. But hopefully there are those times where some creative mojo gets created by some of those uncomfortable feelings and places.

    Lotsa Hugs,
    MM

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