If you haven't already.
I have done it many times, specially when reading for others face-to-face. I blame it on my anxiety and lack of self-confidence, but I can't deny that every time this happens I trust my cartomantic skills a bit less. And the worst is that I don't even read for strangers yet - I only read for family and friends!
Not very promising for a wannabe card reader. After all, if you have blank spots and a coronary thrombosis when reading face-to-face, you will not have enough concentration to even try to give a good reading. You won't be grounded. And most importantly: you won't trust the message.
Despite my occasional failure at reading for others, I have a deep belief that the cards I get in a reading are the perfect cards for that moment. I almost never draw clarification cards or re-do the reading, unless I realize that the reading I am doing is not about the sitter, but about me. This has happened to me as well, and for me it's a sign that I am not grounded and detached enough from the situation. "It's not about me", I have to tell myself. "It's about the sitter. It's her reading, not mine".
I try but... sometimes I fail. Nothing comes. I look at the cards and get nothing. Not a single tiny bubble of a message floats to the surface of my suddenly still mind-ocean. I scratch my head. I analyze the elements and nothing seems relevant. I try Geomancy and find that, great, now I am more confused. My braincells start to cannibalize each other in the calmness. I smile. I try to connect the cards. I stutter. Nothing makes sense - are these really my cards!?
I give up. And apologize.
This is what happened to me last Monday, while reading for my mother. I have always found it difficult to read for her, due to my closeness to her life... I know too much, I love her too much, and this is seldom a ground stable enough to build a good reading. But she only asks for a reading once in a blue moon, she was a bit upset and I thought the cards could give her some clarity.
The subject was her current relationship with a man. She said he was acting weird, so first I did the Lost Man spread to see what influences were strong in his life at the moment. This particular spread was decent, but not very deep. It didn't disclose any unknown information, so I did the 4-card Present spread in order to analyze the state of the relationship. And here... boy... I got completely lost. Not only it had a bunch of Clubs (which always makes the message hazy), but it was Geomantically unfriendly.
I didn't get any information from these cards. Nada! It almost felt as if I had never seen them in front of me in my life. Of course, now with some distance I could attempt to interpret them... if some of you use the PCO, you can probably read this spread with more clarity than I (the picture of the spread is the one above). But that is not the point - the point is that I should have interpreted it back on Monday, looking my mother in the eye. The right moment is gone.
I gave a bad reading. So bad it was an almost non-reading. Thank goodness mom loves me with all my shortcomings... but I realize a stranger would not be happy with it. This makes the prospect of coming out of the divination closet even scarier.
But I am trying to not attach myself too much to this failure. No, this wasn't my best reading by far. There was nothing enlightening or empowering about it. Yes, it was downright crappy. C'est la vie. Maybe I was just having a Bad Card Day.
The Playing Card Oracles © Ana Cortez & C.J. Freeman
For what it's worth, I'm also uncomfortable reading for my mother. I think it's much more difficult to read for those close to you than it is to read for a stranger. There's more pressure. Especially someone who has known you your whole life. Don't lose heart, Marina! There's no reader alive who hasn't drawn a blank at one time or another. There could be a message in that as well. It could have just been the wrong time to ask the cards. Maybe things were in flux at that moment in time.
ReplyDeleteIt's normal to draw a blank when reading for a family member or friend and anyone who tells you otherwise is kidding themselves. To this day I still have the occasional block even when doing a reading for someone I don't know.
ReplyDeleteYou're right it takes a lot of courage to step out of your comfort zone and do a reading for someone you've never met, especially when you have been practicing the way you are for friends and family and you keep coming up with blanks.
May I suggest a couple of things:-
1. Put away all those other decks. Chose a deck and a system that you enjoy working with and stick to it. Really get familiar with it. Use it everyday for single card draws, readings and just to flick through even when you're watching TV. Having many other systems and decks and get your wires crossed and confuse you when you read.
2. Practice with generic questions. For example you might watch a drama series on TV or be reading a book. Confer with your cards and ask a question about one of the characters (e.g.: what will this character do next?)
3. Draw a daily card. Not to anticipate your day ahead but to contemplate throughout the day and identify it's presence during your day. (e.g.: that was an Ace of Clubs moment..)
4. Befriend your deck. Sit with them, lay them all out on a table. Put them into groups. Look at how the interact with each other.
5. Shuffle them. Sometimes I might be watching TV and just sitting there mindlessly shuffling my deck and a card drops out. Take a look at that card, it fell out for a reason. Is your deck trying to say something to you?
I think most importantly when you're trying to develop your reading strength having too many decks and systems around can confuse you subconsciously. Sure it's nice to change around because from time to time one seems to resonate more than the other, but at this early stage it's only a distraction.
thank you for this; I've had the same thing happen to me at times and it's good to know that others have as well. I think the fact that you're reading for your mother and people close to you has something to do with this. I won't even read for my spouse or my mother. Maybe that means I'm just chicken :)
ReplyDeleteI agree...it does happen to us all!
ReplyDeleteYour post about it was awesome.
You know, maybe there wasn't anything to know that was that important?
Worst case scenario maybe it was just a blip. Sometimes if I'm scattered my readings are scattered.
I read in some book (I think it was on psychic phenomena) that if the sitter doesn't care enough about the question the answer what come through--so maybe your mom knew it was OK.
I may just be grasping here, but regardless I know this doesn't reflect poorly on you as a reader!
Hugs,
MM
@ Kiki: My mother is one of the most difficult sitters for me, and she knows that. Still, sometimes she asks for readings and I do them... Looking back now, one of thread readings I did proved to be quite accurate. But the second readings remains a mystery...
ReplyDelete@ Ben Vee: Thank you for your tips! I know that having a blank spot is not so uncommon, but I don't usually have them when using the PCO, because it's the oracle I am more familiar with. I know I should probably stay away from my other tarot and oracle decks for a while, but I confess that it's hard, LOL! :P I enjoy playing with all my decks.
I liked your suggestions for daily readings... drawing a card and seeing how it manifests in your day. It's something I'd be willing to try...
@ Regan Lee: You know Regan, I probably shouldn't read for people so close to me. But I can't say no to them! :P I am extra-chicken, I guess! But I agree, the closeness really impairs one's ability to understand the message clearly.
@ Hannah: I am happy you liked my post! :) It' never easy to talk about failure, lol! I think I wasn't grounded enough, and above all - I was nervous. Also, like Kiki said, I think the situation itself was a bit in a limbo, so that made it even harder for me to interpret the cards.
I am trying to not give the blank spots more importance than they should have. For me it's a sign I need to learn how to detach/ground myself better, and that I must look for new ways to practice. Family just doesn't work!
Great post. It does happen and sometimes it's a learning experience, sometimes just a bad day and sometimes you want the ground to swallow you! Still, we keep getting back on the horse.
ReplyDeleteYou are being way too hard on yourself. Doing a reading for anyone is a very intimate and personal expereince and because of that its a lot of pressure on you as the reader... I always find it way more difficult to read for people I know because there are so many expectations and its hard to stay objective and you have a fear that you may let them down.... but you must stay grounded and centered in the process. You may even ask them to be silent about whatever they are concerned about until you have laid out the cards... then have them talk so that you can connect what they are saying with the cards and then allow information to come in.
ReplyDeleteWhenever you feel like you arent able to see anything... especially if its because you are nervous take a minute or two and close your eyes and just relax, ask them to close their eyes as well if it makes you feel more safe. Then begin looking at the cards again. Look at the images and thread together a story based off of purely what you see. there will be something there.... and ask the cards mentally whats next? Can you tell me more? And just go with it. Don't question what you are feeling just allow it to flow.
I can never read for my mom so I get that feeling. I have tried and I freeze... then I just tell her what the cards mean instead of really tapping into my intuition... which is fine... but there is always more there if we can go deeper. Reading cards is about feeling and learning to be present with the cards... its not about knowing everything its about discovering everything. You are not sitting there as the all knowing all wise tarot reader... you are an adventurer and you are asking the person in front of you to come with you. Involve them in the images as well asking them what they see.
And NEVER tell yourself it was bad reading because things that may not make sense at the time could turn out to be dead on later. you just never know. And remember that a reading is about traveling with the unknown... you cant expect things to be exact every time. Just thank them for being there and move on...
You are very talented with the cards so just keep going :)
Shaheen
Pick one deck and one system (especially a system that is not complex). Personally, I think the Ana Cortez cards and system are messy and confusing. Only give a card one or two meanings. Only use three card spreads. Keep is simple. Keep it simple. Try this approach, it works.
ReplyDelete@ The Four Queens: Yes, you are right! We all have bad days and we need to learn how to use them as an opportunity to learn, instead of an opportunity to beat ourselves up, lol!
ReplyDelete@ Shaheen: Thank you for sharing your experience! Reading for my mother is soooooo difficult... I have tried every relaxation technique out there during her readings and nothing works. I have told her that I can't read for her, and I know she understand... but at the same time, she does feel a bit sad about it. And I feel terrible, as if I was lacking as a reader somehow. But it's interesting to see that you and other have had similar problems when reading for family.... I don't feel so alone, lol!
Thank you so much for your kind words and advices! <3
@ Izzydunne: Hi! Thank you for your comment and advices! I do use only one system - Ana Cortez one, as you pointed. For me, it's not messy at all and I have given many good readings using it. The 4-card spread is one developed to be used with the PCO, and that's why I have chosen it... I don't think it's so confusing, except when I am reading for my mother, lol!
ReplyDeleteThat say, I agree that 3-card spreads are wonderful!
Hi
ReplyDeleteI face this problem often, and mainly because of lack of self-confidence. I think another most important reason is that I'm too impatient to ground myself, and concentrate and try to make a connection etc. Besides that I want to learn everything, every oracle and divination system and that too quickly. This is not a good practice. I started learning Lenormand oracle, Tarot and astrology all together. Soon I realized it won't work this way. So I put tarot away for a while and then concentrated on Lenormand alone. When I was sure now I'm relaxed enough to incorporate another one, I started tarot and somehow it seemed easier reading it intuitively. Then I started the playing cards. When I started reading playing cards I had to choose a system, because as you know several systems are available. I enrolled in a school for the course and I'm on the final stage now. I did two readings for two people over email and for the very first time the readings made sense to me and I was very very much comfortable putting the reading in words. The client was very happy with the reading too. Same went for the second reading. So I guess the credit goes to the teacher because the course is formulated in a way which teaches you methods to work with your environment and your confidence more than the meanings of the cards.
Blessings
Alyna
I completely agree with your Alyna -- I have this problem of forcing myself to get grounded and connected to the sitter as fast as possible. I feel bad when I become silent or spend too much time thinking... I am afraid the sitter will begin to doubt my skills, and this has a bad impact on my confidence.
DeleteI have also been trying to focus on less decks, so I can learn them better. Sometimes I have to be careful to not become completely scattered due to the amount of decks I own. I always want to learn more more more, but it can be very detrimental to my growth as a reader. The more familiar and comfortable you are with a deck, the more confident you become when working with it.