But sometimes even my Saturn-inspired self-control fails, and the centauress shows her hooves.
Ever since this happened I have noticed my boss has been treating me a bit... different. It seems I annoy and exasperate her more than usual. The fact I have been lacking concentration to do certain things (specially the tasks I dislike) does not help. Yes, I was insensitive, I feel horrible about it, but I can't take the words back.
I began to wonder whether there is something weird going on or if I am suffering from guilt-induced paranoia. So I decided to ask my Playing Card Oracles for some enlightenment My question was "how does my boss feel about me right now?".
Two things got my attention immediately in this layout. First, we have only Diamonds and Spades - Fire & Earth - which is a rather insensitive combination. And I think this is my boss' opinion about me, specially after my ugly gaffe.
The second thing is the 7♠ (Sword of Destruction) in the Foot position, also the only back card in the reading. Even though it is 'at home' in this reading, it's still not a good sight. I think this card is telling that my boss believes I am changing something here at work - perhaps in a way she disagrees with - and that it can be both good and dangerous.
Dangerous, because the 4♦ is right above it, and it's rather an unruly card. In the Heart position, it shows that my boss finds me a bit unpredictable - hence the possible danger related to the 7♠. She finds me hard to control, or thinks I cannot control myself (when it comes to my tongue it's probably true).
Tendra, the 10♦... she has been popping up in every reading recently, and I like her not. The first thing that came to my mind when I looked at her is - spoilt. Everyone here know that one of the owners of the company knows my mother... they are not best friends, but are long-time acquaintances... and that probably makes her think I am not respectful and careful enough because I am spoilt and selfish. That I take my position for granted.
But there's a good card crowning this complicated reading. The 8♦ (House of Good Fortune) shows that, in her mind, she probably thinks I am a good 'investment' for the company. I am the only person here who works with the ebooks, which is an area that will probably grow in the future. And honestly, I am good at it.
I think emotionally right now he opinion of me is not very good. She seems to have a strong affection for other co-workers of mine, but I think that right now (due to my insensitive mistake) she's not feeling very fond of me. Rationally she knows I am not a bad person and that I contribute to the company, but right now she finds it hard to trust me completely. If I had to describe it shortly, I'd say my boss thinks I am brat.
... well, not every reading is gonna be pat on the back. The truth is that I was very insensitive and careless with my words, and I feel really awful for what I have said. So far I didn't have the right opportunity to make amends, and the fact she seems sorta displeased doesn't make me comfortable enough to get any closer and talk. So I've been trying to apologise through my diligence.
I suppose the next step is asking the cards how can I make the situation better...
The Playing Card Oracles © Ana Cortez & C.J. Freeman