I did better in May than in the previous months, but in the last couple of days it became clear to me that I am still too fragile, too easily disturbed by anything that comes from a certain person. Specially manifestations of happiness.
Nevertheless, last month's reading was very helpful to me, and accurate in many different aspects. Following its advices helped me to have more good days than bad ones. So I decided to try it again.
1. What you need to take with you ~ Dark Queen
Ugh, I don't like when she shows up. Because I can see her looking at me and saying "you have been naughty again...". You know the whole 'curiosity killed the cat' things? That is precisely what she's warning me against. For the next month I need to NOT seek what I don't wish to know. One of the things that ruined my mood completely was prying into another person's life and finding out things I was not ready to handle. I am still fragile, so for now it's best for me to get my prying tendencies under control. They only hurt me, and don't improve a thing.
2. What you need to leave behind you ~ Lavender Moon
How interesting - this card came up in the May reading, symbolizing my next step. Back then I interpreted it as the need to go inside and find my own answers in silence. It related specially to my spiritual path, and indeed during May a few things became clear for me in this regard. I stopped trying to follow other's instruction, stopped looking for one-true-faith, and decided to create my own path, one that feels true to me. But now I must leave this silent search behind, and move to the next level of my journey; the retreat is over.
3. The next step ~ Silver Moon Fairy
The Silver Moon Fairy is a card of secrecy - it tells you to keep your dreams, goals and hopes to yourself, to nurture them in silence. It details the information given by the Lavender Moon. Although I have made some new discoveries and they are important to me, it's not yet time to share them with others. And this card also relates to my emotional life: it's not time for me to expose myself yet, for there are parts of me that are still too tender, too insecure, too easily broken. I need to stay in the underworld for a while longer, healing and gathering my strength.
4. The probably outcome ~ Mystic Mermaid
This is a rather funny a card... after all the healing and spirituality talk, she come and says 'okay honey, all this is good, but what you really need now is some pampering'. The truth is that during last month I have bought new earrings (I love earrings) and nail-polish colors, all that girly stuff. I have pampered myself. But none of that has made me feel prettier or more comfortable in my own skin... I feel ugly or invisible most of time. Perhaps this card points to an improvement in the way I see myself. I wonder if the changes I have been going through on the inside will eventually reflect on the outside too.
I am keeping my fingers crossed for this particular outcome - I could really use some self-esteem boost.
Enchanted Oracle © Llewellyn Worldwide & Jessica Galbreth