Oracle Speak ~ April 29th - May 13th

A while ago, Ana Cortez suggested that we tried to do our own Oracle Speak readings as an exercise. Oracle Speak is quick biweekly forecast Ana does for a local radio station at Santa Fe, NM. She also makes the forecast available on her website.

So, she told us to do a reading for the coming two weeks, before listening to her own forecast, as to not be influenced. Ana suggested that we focused on getting a message to the world, instead of focusing on our personal lives. This way the reading can be relevant to others too.

I seldom do general forecasts for many people - I am better with personal readings. But I think the challenge is important for my growth as a reader. Also, in this exercise I tried to follow my first impressions, because I need to learn to trust them more. I often question my own interpretations until I am completely lost!

So the first thing that called my attention in this layout was the presence of the deuces on the top of the spread. And both cards deal with rivarly of some sort - one is the  2♠ (The Enemies) and the other is the 2♦ (The Rivals). My first impression is that May will begin with an atmosphere of conflict and opposition.

The Ace of Diamonds is the only card upside down, and because it's right below the two deuces, for me it's deeply connected to them. The causes of the conflicts may be an excessively individualistic approach to thing - "my way or no way" sort of thing. However, fire is also a transforming energy - these times of opposition, if well-handled, can be a catalyst for important changes. We must keep the "diamond" at the top of our priorities - not the "dragon"!

We can transform a heavy enmity into a lighter, more positive rivalry that inspired growth instead of destroying. If we let the negative side prevail., it'll be like throwing dirt onto the fire of transformation. We will smother it.

I don't see a very relevant meaning for the 6♣... for me it suggests that all this will be a very temporary situation, one that will open the path to further grow. The conflicts that happen within the coming two weeks will not be long-lasting (unless the people involved handle them very badly). If anyone has more insight on this card, I appreciate.

There's also a lack of Hearts in this particular spread, which suggests that this will be a time of low sympathy; people will not be very open emotionally. A hard time of transformation, like fire burning the earth to renew it. The sentence that popped into my mind was 'don't be a softie'.

In a nutshell: I believe opposition will be very present in the coming weeks, in different forms and intensity. There may be a tendency in people to face this in a rather egoistic way, which may contribute to the conflict. It's important to compromise, so that the differences can generate growth instead of becoming an abyss. This is a wonderful opportunity to transform any situation by analyzing what isn't working and finding alternatives in other people's ideas. Using well this time can boost people's progress in whatever area of their lives they are experiencing stagnation or obstruction.

I don't know if I did this right but... ta-da, here it is! My first Oracle Speak!

If anyone sees this spread differently, or has any additional insight on the cards... please, do share!



The Playing Card Oracles © Ana Cortez & C.J. Freeman

April Giveaway ~ WINNER!

I am a day late! Sorry!

Finally, the WINNER of the April Giveaway!

I took all the names of people who left comments in my April posts and put them in a cup (because I don't have a hat) and drew one randomly. I always feel a bit bad when drawing a single name because I really wish I could give a deck to each of you!

Alas, the costs of multiple international shipping are prohibitive! But wait until I get my rich husband... ;)

Ok, back to what matters!
And the winner of the April Giveaway is...

Augurous Art: Crying in the Rain (feat. Hudes Tarot)

Today ended up very sunny day here - much to my relief - but the weather really fooled me in the early morning. I was sure it'd be another bleak raining day, and was bracing myself for a melancholic Friday. As I walked to work I listened to the song Crying in the Rain, by A-ha (which in my opinion is the most beautiful version).

Oldie but goldie. So full of a melancholic hopefulness and a quiet, proud pain.

This song, together with the 9 of Spades which appeared as an advice for me this week, inspired me to create the 'digital collage' below. It's not a masterpiece, but I really like the way it turned out! So I decided to share with you. :-)

The tarot card in the image is the 9 of Swords of the Hudes Tarot. It told me to not let my thoughts become a constant source of torment. Use my mental powers to cut away these things that right now only bring me pain, and try to find some peace. Not joy, not real happiness, not pleasure - just a small measure of peace. The 9 of Swords also implied that my recovery may take longer than expected, because I have a lot of inner work to do, but while at it I must try to make my mind an ally, not an enemy. 

I feel this card reinforced the message of my weekly reading.

Hudes Tarot © US Games Systems, Inc.

Sol: The All-Seeing King

Of all the kings in the Playing Card Oracles, Sol, the King of Clubs, is the one that shows up more often in my readings. I think it's because I have many Aquarian/Air men in my life... including my father, my boss, my stepbrother and others.

I was reading Anaïs Nin's Under a Glass Bell on of these days. It's a wonderful book of short stories... I recommend reading it if you like a flowery prose with lots of subjectivity and surrealism. Some people find her writing superfluous and convoluted, but I love her. Anaïs speaks to my spirit - and to my heart - in a way few authors have ever done.

Sol himself would probably dislike her dreamy style.

There's a story called The All-Seeing, which is about a man who could really be the King of Clubs. I can't help but think that Anaïs found inspiration in a typical Air man for this story, because the way she describes him reminds me of the Air men in my life. I am sharing some quotes below, along with some comments of mine, as a part of my own study of this card.

“Seeking this that he had lost without knowing it, he became restless and a rover, a prober, he became the archeologist of his own soul, he searched and wandered [...] He was possessed with restlessness, timelessness, forgetfulness. He lived in a labyrinth and a haze.” (The All-Seeing)

Sol is a man who seeks and researches everything, including his own soul. But, for me, he seems fearful of emotions (and all that reason cannot fully control and comprehend), hence why he focuses so much on the rational side. He is an archeologist of the soul, but his conclusion are always somehow incomplete. The poetry, the dreams, the unconscious, the marvelous... all these things are missing from his left-brained approach. He analyzes them, dissects them, question them until they crumble under the weight of his scrutiny. Mystery cannot survive this aggressive investigation.

On hopelessness

(Note: I was clumsy and deleted the original post by accident. I managed to find the text again and repost it, but all comments were lost, I am so sorry for that! I had read & replied to each comment; they were much appreciated!)

I'd like to apologize for the depressing tone of some of my recent posts. I know it must be boring for others to read about someone else's journey in the dark... sadness and grief are solitary experiences, regardless of the amount of people you share your feelings with.

Because cartomancy is such an important aspect of my personal journey, I always try to see my experiences from the perspective of a reader. I believe that oracles like the Tarot and the Playing Cards are a symbolic synthesis of our lives... in learning from life, we learn about them. Cards gain new colors, new depths as our life is enriched by experiences, even when they are bad ones.

But knowing this doesn't make it any easier for me. I don't feel relieved or hopeful because I know this. Knowing things rationally helps you to maintain a drama-free perspective of the facts but it does not cure you.

The Four Queens wrote a very interesting post about how a person can get caught in asking Tarot the same question over and over again. I think we all agree that this is a damaging behavior. Usually brings no clarity or insight, keeps the painful subject alive and strong inside one's heart. Keeps one attached to the grief. Leads to stagnation. Looking back is important, but eventually one must look forward too.

As a reader I agree with all that she wrote. but as I sent her my reply, I realized that right now I am on the other side of the fence. In a sense, this experience of pain is helping me to understand what many people who ask for readings are feeling when they come to me desperate, asking the same thing they asked last week. I know because I have felt the urge to do this lately.... I control myself, but the impulse is here, inside me.

Some days are easier than others, but usually I wake up wondering why do I even bother opening my eyes. If this is the rest of my life, then please take me. It's a recurrent thought. Rationally I know my life will probably improve, but try convincing my heart of that. All it sees is a tunnel, with no light at the end.

PCO: A coffin in the sea [a quick writing experiment]

Click to see it bigger!

The day when you told me that we could never be
And that you found in her a mate better than me
I sent to God my last prayer, before I ceased to believe.

Lock my heart inside a coffin 
And throw this coffin in the sea.
The day it hits the bottom
Is the day I shall be free.

(I want to forget this cursed heart
Better forgotten than falling apart. AMEN.)


 The Playing Card Oracles © Ana Cortez &C.J. Freeman

Weekly Reading: The Lady and her window

Yesterday before bed I did something I haven't done in a long time: I did a weekly draw. It was more an exercise than an attempt to know what awaits for me, but it still made an interesting reading because my significator card came up: Allegra, the Lady of Hearts (10♥).

I chose Allegra as my card when I began studying the Playing Card Oracles... when I first read about her, I thought that her personality is very similar to my own: moody, sensitive, passionate, vulnerable, a bit irrational and prone to indulge in fantasies. Above all, someone whose heart is her compass... not always a clever guide, but an honest one. I did not choose my card based on the sun sign and element (as I usually do for others), because although my sun sign is Sagittarius, fire, I do not identify so much with Tendra, the Lady of Diamonds (10♦). 

Allegra, on the other hand, could be my portrait at times.

In this weekly draw, the (10♥) came with the 8♣, The Scales, which is for me one of the most problematic cards of the pack. Not because it's bad, but because I have always had a hard time understanding it. And yet, it shows up quite often in my own readings. When looking at the two cards together, my first  impression was that I was seeing a girl staring out of the window...

The Dark Queen blocks this door...

The Enchanted Oracle is one of the few decks I know that has a card to inform the querent that they are not ready for the answer yet. Which is an undescribably frustrating card, I should add.

The Dark Queen is a card of warning. She blocks the door, telling you that you not ready to know everything right now. According to Barbara Moore, who wrote the deck's companion book, she is similar to a parent letting a child know that they'll understand it all when they are older. I remember how much I hated this kind of answer! But that is what she says - you'll understand the truth in the future, when you have outgrown your current limitation, when you become wiser about it.

Of course, if you push... if you insist, if your intention is so strong that it convinces her, then the Dark Queen will gently step aside and let you enter. At your own cost and risk.

Perhaps one could ponder the purpose of a card offering you this kind of answer. I have been thinking this myself, as the Queen has been appearing for me quite often. After all, the purpose of divination is to get the answers... to have access to information otherwise you would not know. To know it, so you can make informed decisions and plan your next step.

Dieting with the Playing Card Oracles!

I know I must be boring you all with my constant Playing Card Oracle readings and rambling... it is my main reading deck after all, and I really enjoy studying it. I'll be back with different decks soon, I promise!

I did a very interesting reading today! I noticed I started to gain weight once more. That is not a tragedy because I lost 4 pounds in February due to my depressed mood and everyone keeps saying I was am too skinny. But honestly I think I am looking good, and since I am still in a healthy weight for my height & age, I decided I'll try keep my weight down.

But now it's getting harder to keep my mouth shut when it comes to food. It seems the more I worry about gaining weight, the more delicious everything looks. And last week was full of temptations which I could not evade, and I actually indulged in some of them. Like that delicious strawberry and chocolate cake. And that double cheeseburger. And those chocolate cookies. And that fish with cinnamon and arracacha purée. And that...

*sigh* You get the idea.

I do eat a lot of salad and fruits, and a lot of fiber, so while my habits aren't unhealthy I still feel that I am not doing it right. I have been often moved by gluttony instead of hunger. So I decided to ask my card for advice. How can I lost the weight I gained and avoid gaining more?

The first thing that jumped at me was the amount of water (Hearts) in this spread! And no - I haven't been drinking enough water. Pure water. I don't drink soda nor alcoholic beverages... I love natural juices... still, I think pure water is important and cannot be replaced by any other liquid. Furthermore, insomnia has turned me into a black coffee drinker. Heavy drinker. No sugar, no sweetener, just pure black coffee to keep me awake at work.

Tendra: more fire than blood!

Fire contains a dynamic spirit that is ever hungry. It consumes. The more it is given, the more it needs. This is the aspect of Fire that illuminates so well the personality of Tendra. (p.79)

Certain cards are complicated. Complicated, because they are... hum... less-than-positive, and we can't help but wincing whenever they show up in a reading. We say that "every card has a light and shadow", but  it seems that some cards have more light while others have more shadow. They seem to be rather negative even at their best.

In the Playing Card Oracles, Tendra (the 10♦) is one of these cards. Her image is that of a young woman kissing the severed head of a man. She represents the hungry part of the fire, the side that consumes utterly. Tendra is seductive, drawing people to her like moths to flame. But once they get close, she burns. She clings, she clutches, she won't let go.

Some of her keywords include needy, demanding, spoilt, willful, possessive, obsessive, clutching.  Her most positive characteristics are her tenacity and the fact she usually represents people with financial advantage... which hardly ever compensate the list of negative traits her very image brings to our mind when we see her in a spread.

Tendra has been showing up in almost every reading I have done for myself lately. It's interesting; in the past 5 years reading with the Playing Card Oracle I seldom saw her! For such a fiery young lady, she was certainly quiet. I even forgot about her.

BANG! Everything changes and suddenly a different folk starts to visit your spreads. And now Tendra is demanding all the attention I have denied her. She is stomping her foot, looking me in the eye and saying "decipher me or I shall devour you".

I have no doubt she will.

PCO: All with my diabolical... mouth.

So, I made a monumental blunder at work a couple of weeks ago, by making an age-related comment during a conversation that may have (and probably has) offended my boss. It was not on purpose - the words flew from my mouth before I even had a chance to think. I have both Sagittarius Sun and Rising - I don't have a big mouth, I have an extra-large mouth that I've learnt to control over the last 24 years.

But sometimes even my Saturn-inspired self-control fails, and the centauress shows her hooves.

Ever since this happened I have noticed my boss has been treating me a bit... different. It seems I annoy and exasperate her more than usual. The fact I have been lacking concentration to do certain things (specially the tasks I dislike) does not help. Yes, I was insensitive, I feel horrible about it, but I can't take the words back.

I began to wonder whether there is something weird going on or if I am suffering from guilt-induced paranoia. So I decided to ask my Playing Card Oracles for some enlightenment My question was "how does my boss feel about me right now?".

Two things got my attention immediately in this layout. First, we have only Diamonds and Spades - Fire & Earth - which is a rather insensitive combination. And I think this is my boss' opinion about me, specially after my ugly gaffe.

The second thing is the 7♠ (Sword of Destruction) in the Foot position, also the only back card in the reading. Even though it is 'at home' in this reading, it's still not a good sight. I think this card is telling that my boss believes I am changing something here at work - perhaps in a way she disagrees with - and that it can be both good and dangerous.

Dangerous, because the 4♦ is right above it, and it's rather an unruly card. In the Heart position, it shows that my boss finds me a bit unpredictable - hence the possible danger related to the 7♠. She finds me hard to control, or thinks I cannot control myself (when it comes to my tongue it's probably true).

Tendra, the 10♦... she has been popping up in every reading recently, and I like her not. The first thing that came to my mind when I looked at her is - spoilt. Everyone here know that one of the owners of the company knows my mother... they are not best friends, but are long-time acquaintances... and that probably makes her think I am not respectful and careful enough because I am spoilt and selfish. That I take my position for granted. 

Review: Enchanted Oracle by Jessica Galbreth & Barbara Moore

I've been wanting to review this deck for a while because I never expected to like it so much. As I said in previous posts, I am not a big fan of fairy decks in general, and honestly the art of the Enchanted Oracle did not attract me so much at first. I bought this deck on impulse, during a moment of shock.

Let me begin by saying why I like this deck better than all other fairy oracles I came across: because it is not mythically self-indulgent. Allow me to explain. When using other fairy decks, I have often felt as if the author was trying to shove her beliefs down my throat. I don't like being converted. And I like even less to see the author constantly rave and rant about creatures I have never seen (because the deck won't work if you don't have a good relationship with the fairies and nature). It exasperates me because it gets in the way when I am trying to use the deck.

But thank goodness... the Enchanted Oracle is different. Barbara Moore talks about the fairies, of course, but never in a way that implies they are real things that you must worship in order to use the deck. In fact, I like the rather archetypical way she describes the characters in the cards. There are no endless pages describing how the author first got in touch with the fairyland, and how the fairies like to be 'treated' so they'll collaborate with your readings. A breath of fresh air.

The Flower Speaks says... purify these inner waters!

I was so proud of myself: I thought I was recovering from my infections without taking antibiotics! That meant my body was becoming strong enough to fight the bacteria again. Mistake. They have now migrated to my ear and I have otitis media.

*sigh*

Okay, maybe my body isn't that strong yet. It seems I'll have no choice but take some antibiotics this weekend, lest the infection decides to travel elsewhere in my body.

I know my immunity system is weak, and the fact I had insomnia most of this week didn't help me to heal much. However, I don't know anymore what I am doing (or what I am not doing) that is making me so debilitated.

I decided to ask for some advice from the cards. I know, I know they are not doctors, but I don't think I have something so serious that needs the help of a physician for now. In fact, I believe that my health problems have strong emotional/mental roots.

The card Pistil & Stamen (Creativity) tells me where the problem is. Emotionally, it relates to creativity, exchange, intimacy and even the more psychological side of sexuality. As physical ailments it can indicate hormonal and sexual imbalance, as well as fatigue. The Water Lily (Receptivity) corresponds to the High Priestess. It is connected to female energy, stillness, receptivity and reflection.

These two cards together tell me that I have probably been holding back things that should be expressed, and they are making me ill. As Anaïs Nin said, “creation which cannot express itself becomes madness”. It is probably true.

April Giveaway: Anubis Oracle

APRIL GIVEAWAY!

I think I should have posted this on April 1st, but.. well, I didn't.

Inspired by some tarot readers on Facebook, I have decided to hold a little giveaway this month. I hope to turn this into a regular event, although I am not sure if I'll be able to make it monthly. This is also a way to say thank you to all my readers for the continued support and invaluable comments!

To participate, all you have to do is leave a valid comment in my blog during April. By valid I mean a comment that says more than "nice post". On the last Sunday of the month (April 29th) I'll put all your names in a bag and draw one randomly.

The winner gets the beautiful Anubis Oracle set, by  Nicki Scully, Linda Star Wolf and Kris Waldherr, plus a short reading from me!

This is an actual picture of the deck & book the winner will receive!

I will pay for the shipping worldwide, so join without fear! Just make sure that you are comfortable with sharing your address with me, through email. Don't post personal information on the comments, please!

The giveaway is optional: if the winner is unavailable or does not want the deck and the reading, I'll draw another name. The reading will also be done through email, and I will not share it on the blog without the querent's permission.

I hope to see you all here this month! :-)
Thank you very much for reading my blog!

Deciphering hieroglyphs

Many times I have wondered where do the messages we get from the cards come from. I still don't have a convincing answer to this question, not even for myself... I just know the cards work and for the time being this is enough for me.

But different readers have different views and beliefs regarding this matter. I have heard many readers say they are a 'channel' through which a higher source reveals the message during the readings. They work as a link between the querent and the spirit (or the collective unconscious), and the message they deliver doesn't come entirely from their minds, but are inspired by a spiritual being.

I must confess that, personally, I haven't experienced this feeling of 'channeling' the message. Note that I am not criticizing the people who do that - in fact, I even admire them. I just can't do what they do.

It may be due to my own spiritual conflicts. Over the years it has become increasingly difficult for me to believe in a 'higher being', in angels, in faeries. I understand them as symbols, archetypes... but I cannot accept them as reality. I do think that the universe has a certain magic to it, an energy that connects every atom... and no, I can't explain it. I stopped believing in a 'higher being' because, try as might (and I did try for many years) I could never get any answer, any sign that a spiritual entity was communicating to me. Much less sending me messages through my cards.

The 13 Witches Runes ~ Part IV (Final!)

And finally, here's the last part of my 13 Witches Runes posts! We only have one rune to cover - the Eye rune - which is a pretty complex symbol in itself, so it has a longer explanation. And then some extra information on Astrology and the runes!

Again, I cannot stress enough that the best resource on these runes is Susan Sheppard's book A Witch's Runes. If you liked my posts, I recommend that you buy it to enhance your practice, it's really a great book!

Eye

The eye has always been a powerful symbol for different cultures. Some believe that the soul resides in them, while others think it's possible to curse a person merely by looking at them. Through our eyes we connect and express emotions and thoughts. Thus, this is one of the most powerful runes in the set, emphasizing the importance of any rune close to it.

The Eye symbol is also related to "vision" is all senses, including the physical. This rune can represent our eyes and optic nerves. It can also represent activities such as research, analysis, photography and creative visualization. When it appears, there's an urge to observe, to explore, to understand deeply what is before you.

This rune is usually related to sudden realizations. Not necessarily a 'shock' (unless some violent rune is close it, like the Scythe and the Man), but more related to the lifting of veils. Your eyes are suddenly open, and you see things that were unknown to you before. A change of perception and focus in life is to be expected when this rune appears... whatever the situation is, the way you see it will be transformed.